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Redneck Christmas Dad Doll!
"Clicky Ray "Gator" Scruggs"
Last year I made the Trail-A-Trash Redneck Family dolls near Christmas time, and this 'Clicky Ray' doll was made back in February of this year.
He'll be the last redneck doll I make.
When he's gone, there'll be no more like him.
They have run their course, interest has waned, and it's time for me to put this chapter of my dolls behind me and move on.
It's almost Christmas time.........can you think of a better time to introduce the redneck Christmas decorating daddy?
Please meet Clicky Ray 'Gator' Scruggs.
He's a resident of the Pleasant View Trailer Park in Possum Kingdom, South Carolina.
He's just one of many residents in that trailer park, and he's related to nearly everyone.
Clicky Ray Scruggs lives in a fine trailer in the back section of the park. And as you can see, he's getting ready to string up the Christmas lights all along his trailer roof.
He didn't like being woke up from the couch, but he'll make an effort, just the same.
He's the handy-man of the trailer park. Actually he's a 'jack of all trades'......there's nothing that Clicky Ray 'Gator' Scruggs and his duct tape can't fix.
Clicky Ray's wife Ethel has to light a fire under his butt in order to get him to do anything.
He is 'motivationally challenged'.
She got his attention when she interrupted his NASCAR viewing by turning off the TV.
Ethel has many plans for Clicky Ray today. He's got his work gloves on and he's ready to get the day behind him. The tractor-tire flower beds need re-painting, and she needs help moving that old washing machine out onto the deck-porch, and it's time to cash-in the aluminum cans.
Good ol' Black Label Beer money doesn't always come easy in the Scruggs' home.
But as cranky as Clicky Ray is at the moment, this is usually not a problem. He's willing to work for his beer money and he'll put the Christmas decorations up so he can have some peace and quiet about it.
There ain't but three things that will get the dander up on Clicky Ray.........
....talking against Elvis...
....talking against his mama...
...and talking against his Chow-dog named Bear.
Those are the most important things in his life.
He has always known who the King, the Queen, and man's best friend were.
What more does he need in this world?
And just look at him standing there. He yawns and stretches a full 27 inches tall and pulls those blue jeans up over his beer-belly.
His white button eyes are still half closed, due to just being woke up. His twisted red flower potpourri mouth is frozen in a 'scowl'. His nose is sculpted with pinch-stitching and his hair consists of wooly tufts on the side of his head.
Clicky Ray doesn't smile a lot, but when he does, he'll flash those little 'shoe-peg corn' teeth as good as the rest of 'em.
Of course, his uni-brow matches his hair, as well.....and judging by that 5:00 shadow, he totally needs a shave.
Clicky Ray needs to get the decorations put up in order to get into the festive mood for the BBQ tonight.
Besides, with this being Ethel Scruggs' favorite time of year, she gets as giddy as a school-girl when she gets liquored up and gazes upon Clicky Ray as he stands near the twinkling Christmas lights.
You don't EVEN want to go there....
One can only hope that the 'magic of the night' doesn't produce more children. His sons don't 'cotton' to doing hard work, and they won't even help him with the decorations.
Nevertheless, he's always been proud of his boys.....James Ira, Jimmy Ira, Hollis Ira, Sie Ira, Horace Ira, and Bo Ira..... the Scruggs boys.
He's just as proud of his girls, too.....there's Fanny-Jean, Ruby-Lynn, Lotta-Ann, Beaulah-Rae, Viola-Pearl, and Virginia-Belle.
All the kids still live at home, and at some point this year, Clicky Ray plans to attach an old camper onto his trailer and make some more room....again.
As it is, with all the additions, his trailer is beginning to resemble a huge bat.
Clicky Ray Scruggs is proud to be an American, too, just look at that tee shirt. He loves his 'merican flag' on the front.
And hanging over his shirt is a few strands of Christmas lights. Hopefully he can get them along the roof of his trailer in just one day.
He really resents having to put them up at all. The last strand of lights that were there lasted 11 years. But the tornado this past spring blew them over into Sugar Tit, South Carolina.
Clicky Ray has his wooden ladder and he's ready for the climbing.
And just look at Clicky Ray's feet. He's wearing his work boots, they are the most comfortable shoes he's ever worn.
He calls 'em his 'drinkin' slippers'.
They are also his 'dancin' slippers'.
When the Christmas decorations are set up and put into place, the entire Scruggs family are going over to the Suck Creek Baptist Church for services and for the big Homecoming Covered-Dish Dinner.
Yes, there's really a church here that goes by that very name.
What a great time they'll be having this afternoon.
And tonight they'll have the family gathering of fun and drinking.
Of course, Clicky Ray and Ethel have to drag young Horace Ira into church. In another year his parents won't be able to do a thing with him....he'll fall in love with some little gal over in Fingerville, get her pregnant, they'll move in with his parents, and he'll get a job at the local Winn Dixie bagging groceries. He'll end up spending his weekends getting drunk with his friends and other chinless members of the Scruggs family ....but for now, he shows up at church and pretty much does as he's told.
The thoughts of all the food begins to make Clicky Ray's mouth water. There's nothing like a good, home-cooked, covered dish supper at the local church.
Clicky Ray will help to set up the big plywood board for the Clogging dancers. He'll set one of those plywood boards back for himself....for the BBQ tonight.
He'll have a few simple odd jobs to do there at the church later on, so he's already wearing his real leather tool pouch, but things will go quickly and then the fun will begin!
But for now, Clicky Ray needs to get the decorations going. He's got a nice wooden crate filled with all the things he'll need.
As he gathers his 'wares', his mind ponders the big supper at the church.
There'll be fried chicken legs, BBQ chicken wings, and also some chicken and dumplings (filled with 'meat-spookies' like those vein-tubes and gristle and skin), corn bread, green beans (with all the annoying strings attached), and those tight little cheap pumpkin pies.......you know, the ones that were bought from the grocery store.....they're only about a half inch thick.
Yessiree, Bob.......there'll be some GOOD eatin' today!
Clicky Ray Scruggs is a plumber, electrician, and a carpenter.
I know, you'd never know it to look at him.
At first glance, from behind, you see that he has no butt......he has a back with a crack in it.
But, just let him bend over ANYwhere, like when he plugs in the tree this year, and oh, boy........plumber's crack galore.
He 'lives' in his denim blue jeans. He's had them for so long that they've been patched several times. In his front right pocket he has a few lottery tickets.
You just can't stop a man from dreaming.
Clicky Ray Scruggs has his biker's wallet in his right back pocket. The chain comes around and attaches to the front right pocket of his jeans.
A slow smile finds it's way across his face as Clicky Ray thinks of the good times he'll have tonight when he 'dry dances' on that plywood floor with those boots on........
Clicky Ray also lets his mind wander to his dream car....he would LOVE to own a 1967 Shelby Mustang GT 500.....
Clicky Ray can tell you anything you want to know about a Ford Mustang. And, as mentioned, he would love to own The Shelby.....
Actually, ANY Mustang would do, but he drools at the thoughts of owning the rarest of all the Mustangs....his DREAM car....the elusive 1968 Cardinal Special.
And if you were in listening range of his description, you'd see his eyes grow wide with enthusiasm as he talks about it in his slow southern drawl ......"She's Candy-Apple red, with a black interior and a 289 engine with 2 barrel carb and three speed manual transmission.
The emblem on the rear of the car has a diamond shape with a red Cardinal sitting on a branch with the words 'Cardinal Special' to the right and left of the bird along the inside of the diamond."
It's at that moment that his eyes will stare off into space and he'll grow silent.
Clicky Ray often chokes up when describing his dream car and ultimately has to leave the room for a few minutes to regain his composure.
The lust for the unrealized dreams of a man can be very powerful.
However, Clicky Ray had to settle for a 1964 powder blue Ford Galaxy 500, 352, automatic.
It's now very dull in appearance, the shine is long gone from it's paint, it has a lot of primer on the trunk and hood, and it needs a lot of work.
He bought it from his brother in law, who owns a scrap yard, and for years Clicky Ray's been paying his brother in law with 'aluminum can money' nearly every month on his way home from a garbage-dump run.
He figures that by the time the last of the kids is married off, it'll be alllll his!
He doesn't know it yet, but Ethel plans to buy him a dent-pully for Christmas.
As Clicky Ray works he ponders another favorite family event.....everyone in the Scruggs household loves dump-day. They'll all ride with daddy-Ray to the county dump on Saturday afternoons and glean the garbage heap for 'perfectly good items' that folks have thrown away.
And while the women-folk fuss over legless couches and busted lamp shades, the men-folk will take out their rifles and do some target-practice on the dump-rats.
Many treasures are brought back home from the county dump.
The men's hunting skills are honed and the girls always find interesting things to set aside for future yard sales.
Does THIS sound like the voice-of-experience or WHAT!
Yep, there'll be a great Hootnanny tonight!
That's when the Scruggs family can 'let their hair down', act-up, show off, and 'cut-a-fool' with everyone.
They'll all gather around the tire-fire, get drunk, and watch the fireworks that can be purchased on nearly every block in South Carolina.
Ahhhh.......good times at the Pleasant View Trailer Park......the big red Chow will bark endlessly, the smell of hot dogs will waft thick in the air, a fight will break out, and someone will begin to dance on a piece of plywood to the sounds of a lone harmonica.
Good times!..........good times!!
Did you get a good mental image of that?
Copyright © November 13, 2002 and November 2, 2003 Cathy Palmer-Scruggs / Catt Alexander
Special thanks to Connie and to Mal....(I love those little New England pine cones)
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My dolls are not for everyone, they are my art. If you are offended, I suggest you hit the back button. It will not do you any good to write me 'hate mail'.
In spite of the dolls I create and the stories I write, I do not use recreational drugs, I don't smoke cigarettes, and I don't even drink alcoholic beverages.. I out-grew a lot of things a long time ago.