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Primitive Nick-A-Penny Fambly!


"Nick-A-Church Lady"


We left off with Nick-A-Penny, in the first story of this series......she deserted her husband, Nick-A-Buck Daddy. She packed up her four chil'ons and moved up to New Jersey, where she finds comfort in a good home.
Nick-A-Buck Daddy found new dwellings, as well, with three of the chil'ons. And now, in part three of this series, we have the Church-going Nick-A-Mammy and her two gran-chil'ons.


Nick-A-Mammy Estie takes care of the remaining chil'ons that belong to Nick-A-Penny and Nick-A-Buck. And she sure has her hands full, too. But, she believes in getting some religion in those 'young-ins' and she makes them go to church with her every Sunday morning.
She also makes one of the kids from the neighborhood go along with them. She's a little white girl, but Nick-A-Mammy Estie sure 'nuff knows when a child is in need of some old time religion!

Oh, and what a scandal this has caused......the neighbors all talk of Miss Nick-A-Mammy Estie dragging that little white girl along with her. But, it was all started up by that nosy neighbor across the way. You can look over there at any given time and see the curtains move as she watches what everyone does.

She's a pinched up, bitter old woman who stays hemmed up in her own little world, casting stones at the lives of others. She doesn't 'mind her own business', she just gets involved with things that are not of her concern. She really needs to take the rafter out of her own eye.

She just lays in wait, looking for something to offend and disgust her.
She has appointed herself as the 'keeper of morals and all that is decent and accepted' in the world.
She's always pontificating to someone about how indignant she is over something.
Everyone suspects that she merely does this to feel better about herself. Comparing her own morals to other people's morals and standards is how she feels superior.

The Nick-A-Penny family just chalks her up as 'one of those' who goes around on her soapbox with her banner-waving and fist-raising and condemns everything and everyone. They suppose she thinks that she can 'change the world' with her narrow minded views. She even takes it upon herself to be the 'Politically Correct Police'........but little does she know, NO ONE likes a person like that. People usually just roll their eyes or laugh behind her back. What an annoyance she is.

However, the Nick-A-Penny family pays her no mind. They just get on with their own lives and figure that if that pinched up old woman doesn't like things, she can just get out of the neighborhood.
The Nick-A-Penny family finds her offensive, appalling and disgusting and do their best to ignore her ranting.
Nick-A-Mammy Estie will pray for her in church.


Sunday mornings start the same way in Nick-A-Mammy's house. She gets those sleepy heads up at the crack of dawn. And while they are trying to rouse themselves to life and wipe the 'sleepies' from their eyes, they can already smell the breakfast cooking on the wood-burning stove.....and they also hear Nick-A-Mammy Estie yelling and complaining.
Ahhhhh........the sounds of love in the morning!
But they love her to death. No one can make a better Corn Pone than their beloved Nick-A-Mammy Estie.

And boy, those Corn Pones are a delight to smell. They bring the Corn Pones to church with them in order to keep them all well-fed.

The chil'ons scramble to the kitchen and see a big cast iron pot of Grits on the table. And the bacon is so thick that it has to be cut with a knife!
The huge Cat-Head size biscuits are waiting for them. They are deliciously golden brown, with a smathering of rich home-churned butter on their tops, and they're sitting in a cloth-lined wooden bowl.
The white pan-gravy is thick and lumpy, but it tastes so good on those biscuits that on a quiet night, you can hear the family's arteries harden!
Now THAT'S down-home cooking!


And just look at Nick-A-Mammy Estie ..........the very vision of loveliness. She stands at that stove, all of 26 inches tall. She has been painted black and sanded for an aged look. She has many black braids in her hair, which have been tied with small rags.

Nick-A-Mammy Estie wears a tan and blue plaid Homespun dress with the sleeves tied in place with twine. She also has crocheted cotton trim hand-sewn onto the hem of her dress.
There are also patches sewn here and there, and several antique buttons are stitched into place. She also wears some heavily stained pantaloons that are tied at the legs with twine.


Nick-A-Mammy Estie has a stained crocheted doily as a collar. And this collar sits atop her ample bosom...........which the chil'ons love to snuggle up to. There's no love like the love Nick-A-Mammy Estie gives a child as she bear-hugs them and squeezes them until they can't breathe. Then she'll let out a hearty laugh and do it again, just to watch the chil'on's eyes bug out!
There's a lot of fun in THIS house, for sure!


Then we have Nick-A-Mammy Estie's white stained apron. It has two hand-stitched pockets and a piece of twine that acts as a belt.


Hanging from the twine belt is a toy for the chil'ons......a red wooden 'School Days' thing.


Nick-A-Mammy Estie has a sculpted nose and miss-matched button eyes. But don't let those eyes fool you.....she sees everything those chil'ons do. They often wonder if she has eyes in the back of her head, as well. She has a very generous set of lips made of a red potpourri flower. It's a screaming mouth, too.....and never stops talking, ever.


Breakfast is over and she's getting everyone ready for church service. She puts Shineesha in her left apron pocket. Shineesha is wearing a green and white plaid Homespun dress and is holding a small wicker sewing basket, to keep her busy in church during the meeting. Chil'ons get restless and they need to be kept quiet. Shineesha carries her scraps of fabric, a pin cushion with pins, and a wooden spool of red thread. She's also eating on a small slice of Watermelon.


Nick-A-Mammy Estie picks up the little white girl from up the street and places her into the right-side pocket of her apron. She's wearing a red and white Gingham dress. Nick-A-Mammy Estie gave her a cracker to eat.

Then we have Floneesha....the 'climber' of the family. She's wearing a little plaid Homespun dress, too, and is also eating a small slice of Watermelon. She keeps bumping the bottom of Shineesha's basket and Shineesha's getting mad. Any minute now, they'll be fighting and incur the wrath of Nick-A-Mammy Estie.
The first beating of the day usually begins before they can get out of the door.


Finally, Nick-A-Mammy Estie gets her 'go to meetin' basket. It's her church basket, filled with all the things she needs to get through the morning at church. There's a hand-stitched quilt in order to wrap the chil'ons with so they can nap if they become tired. She takes warm Cone Pones to church with her, which are kept deep into the bottom of the basket, and she feeds them to the chil'ons, knowing that the carbohydrates will make them sleepy within 15 to 20 minutes.


Nick-A-Mammy Estie also has some flowers that she picked from her garden. They'll decorate the church. She also carries a small wooden jar of candy, for the chil'ons. She gives them candy just before Sunday School. This gets them on a sugar high and they at least stay more alert until time for the preachin'.

There's also a small flocked teddy bear, for the kids to play with. She has her big red Good Book, her beloved Bible. And tied down onto the Bible is her wooden lickin' stick. It's to keep the chil'ons in line.
If they act up, Nick-A-Mammy Estie takes that wooden lickin' stick and lightly pops them in the back of the head. Then she threatens them. She tells them that if they are bad, they'll go where the worm dieth not, and where there'll be the gnashing of teeth.
It seems to work rather well, as the chil'ons imagine being in a place with worms that grind their teeth at them.

Nick-A-Mammy Estie also has her white paper fan in the basket. She knows that the church is hot and there'll be a lot of yellin' and sweatin' going on. There's also a small lace hanky in the basket. There'll be many tears shed on this morning.

After the preacher gets them good and worked up, he'll pass the offering plate around, and Nick-A-Mammy Estie will reach into her bra and pull out that little bulging change purse and get a quarter for the plate.
The chil'ons are full of wide-eyed wonderment when she pulls out that change purse. There is nothing more mysterious or forbidden than that change purse.
It's where ice-cream money comes from....and church money.......and it seems magic.
It's as though the clouds part, a beam of heavenly light shines down, and an angelic choir sings out in unison.........revealing the precious coins.
All they know is, Nick-A-Mammy Estie will give eggs from the hen-house to different folks and then the change purse has money. It never leaves her bra, except for special occasions.

Can you find it in your heart to give Nick-A-Mammy Estie and her gran-chil'ons a good home? She wants to get away from that nosy neighbor. There'll be other members of the Nick-A-Penny family to place in homes. Stay tuned......I'm rounding them up as fast as I can.



Copyright August 25, 2002 Cathy Palmer-Scruggs / Catt Alexander


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In spite of the dolls I create and the stories I write, I do not use recreational drugs, I don't smoke cigarettes, and I don't even drink alcoholic beverages.