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Primitive Goth Mock Monkey!


"Mock Monkey"


The wee children were sick with colds and it was the dead of winter. The doting parents were taking such good care of them, tending to their every need.
The nightstand was loaded down with cough syrups and children's aspirin, thermometers, and old fashioned Coke syrup from the drugstore.

One night at bedtime, when the parents were tucking the children into their warm beds and wiping runny noses and hearing prayers, Little Gerald was telling his mom and dad what he wanted for his birthday, which was the next day.
As the mother smoothed the hair from his eyes she noticed an eyelash on his cheek. She told Little Gerald that he could close his eyes, make a wish, and blow the eyelash away when his wish was made.
She assured him that his wish would come true!

This was the ultimate birthday bonus! He might even end up with more gifts than he thought he'd get.
To a child, this was like winning the lottery!

Little Gerald thought for a moment and then told his mommy he knew what he was going to wish for. He closed his eyes tight and said his wish in his mind over and over again.
When he opened his eyes his mom asked if he had made the wish. He proudly nodded his head. When he went to speak, his little nose blew a bubble then he said, "Yep...I ordered a Mock Monkey!.......sniff"

Everyone began to laugh and then the parents hugged Little Gerald. Dad replied, "Don't you mean a SOCK Monkey, son?"

Little Gerald blushed and he turned his head to look away.
The laughter wound down and the parents left the room. Little Gerald pulled his blankets up under his chin and fell asleep with a smile on his face....
.... while blowing little nose-bubbles.

When morning arrived Little Gerald felt an odd sensation. He opened his sleepy eyes and saw something strange looking back at him. He immediately cried out to his parents.

When the parents approached the bedroom they stood in the doorway and gasped.
It was not what they had hoped for.
Apparently, when Little Gerald made a wish for a SOCK Monkey and his nose was stopped-up, he said MOCK Monkey, instead of Sock Monkey....and to make it a little more interesting, the 'Eye-lash Fairies' sent him a GOTH Mock Monkey.

A barely audible voice whimpered out, "Dad, what IS it? What does he want? Why is he staring at me like that?"

The composed dad answered back, while lighting his pipe.
"Well, son, what you've got there is a Goth Mock Monkey. I've heard of this sort of thing before. It happened last year to Fred Graybeel's son. Fred's a man I work with.
We'll try to find him another home, but in the meanwhile, he's your responsibility."


The dad went on to explain...."You'll have to get used to the staring. That's what Goth Monkeys do, son.
They stare.
They are very sullen and usually quiet.
They have yellow eyes that are meant to intimidate you, but don't stare back at makes him aggressive.
And see his ears? They hear everything you say and even the things you

Little Gerald was starting to become worried and scared that he'd THINK the wrong thing, so he tried to think of pleasant showtunes or something. Gerald was keeping an eye on Mock Monkey's big red mouth, his butt and his swishing tail.
Just then, Mock Monkey turned around, flashed his big red butt at Little Gerald and the butt began to sing the theme song to the musical 'Oklahoma!'


Ooooooooooklahoma, where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain...
And the wavin' wheat can sure smell sweet ....
When the wind comes right behind the rain.......


What the?.....
The family could only stare back, slack-jawed and a little leery of saying anything, or THINKING anything.



Mock Monkey went back to standing on the bed and staring at Little Gerald, who at THIS point had voided himself and was scared to death to move.
Little Gerald looked up at the black velvet hat atop Mock Monkey's head. There was also a black tassle hanging down, right next to his ear.

Next, Little Gerald looked at Mock Monkey's attire. He had a strange little rubber-like black and silver vest. He also noticed the black satin bow tie with the unusual jewelry.
"Dad? What does that necklace-thing mean?
The dad smiled and replied, "Why, that's a pentagram and an inverted cross, son. That just means that Goth Mock Monkey is a little demonic, that's all.
We have freedom of religion in this fine country of ours and we have to respect Mock Monkey's choice of religion, or even if he just wants to wear really cool jewelry."

Little Gerald nodded slowly as he continued to look at Mock Monkey from head to toe. His entire body was made of muslin. It was also painted and sanded for an aged look. He even had little black pom-poms on his feet.
He stood a tall, lean 33 inches from the black pom-pom on his hat to the tip of his long, slender tail. And his mouth-muzzle and butt-muzzle was made of an old black sock and then covered with rich red velvet.

Little Gerald gazed upon the braided black cording that hung from Mock Monkey's vest...there were two red wooden beads, one on each cording.
Just then Little Gerald remembered that the Goth Mock Monkey could read minds, so he quickly told his mind "Don't think BALLS, Don't think BALLS...DO NOT THINK RED BALLS."
Lord only KNOWS what Mock Monkey could make of THAT.


But just then, Little Gerald smiled because there, dangling from Mock Monkey's right hand, was a small Sock Monkey. He had gotten his wish after all.

The days are long and weary as Little Gerald patiently waits for the Goth Mock Monkey to find a new home. He cleans up all the piles of Goth balls in the corners of his bedroom and he tolerates the silly songs that come into his head and that are then performed by the Mock Monkey's butt.
And when the Goth Sock Monkey finds a new home, things can get back to normal for Little Gerald.

Copyright December 11, 2003 Cathy Palmer-Scruggs / Catt Alexander


Special thanks to Mal for the inspiration!

Another super special thanks to eBay seller imosh for the pentagram / inverted cross pendant.


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My dolls are not for everyone, they are my art. If you are offended, I suggest you hit the back button. It will not do you any good to write me 'hate mail'. 

In spite of the dolls I create and the stories I write, I do not use recreational drugs, I don't smoke cigarettes, and I don't even drink alcoholic beverages.. I out-grew a lot of things a long time ago.