Bill had lived a life as a hardened criminal. He did things that I can't even mention in this story. So, it's little wonder that when he awoke from a car accident, he found himself with his feet firmly planted in Hell. And for the first time in his brutish life, he was scared.
The Catt Box
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Primitive Goth Hell's Garden Fairy!
He didn't see any of the fire and brimstone he had always heard about. He didn't see a gigantic stone cave with a massive fireplace. He didn't see demons, burning people, or even HellCats.
Instead, he found himself in a huge round room full of doors.
The walls, floor, and ceiling of this room were black. And oddly enough, as he looked straight up to the ceiling he could see tiny twinkling stars against a black sky.
Hell was not at all as he had imagined.
After standing in one place for the better part of an hour, Bill decided that he was probably supposed to enter a door. (duhhhh.....)
As he walked around the room and gazed upon the doors, he read the small gold-lettered door titles that gave a hint as to what would be on the other side.
He studied each door, trying to choose which one to open. He innately knew that he'd be given one choice and he wanted to make the best choice possible.
Bill sauntered past doors that led to:
Message board drama queens.
Insincere people who sarcastically say "Sorry!" when you are at the end of your rope in frustration over something.
Slow workers at the check-out who don't speak to you or make eye contact, and they have long fake fingernails, no personality, and lay your credit / debit card on the little pad that clearly states 'DO NO LAY CREDIT / DEBIT CARDS IN THIS AREA', and insists that you see that their tongue is pierced, so they hang their tongue out of their mouth like a tape dispenser.
Employees at the DMV.
People who develop new and more clever ways to infiltrate your inbox with Spam because software was created to detract them.
Writers of commercial jingles that get stuck in our heads.
Service Techs for AO-HELL.
Blatant copiers and stealers of other people's work and ideas.
Men who are going through a midlife crisis.
Men who wear long shorts that go way past their knees (yeah, you're a real babe-magnet, dude)
Men who wear socks with their Samson and Goliath sandals.
Men in general.
The Politically Correct self-appointed police.
The people who changed MTV from it's 1980's format.
....and then there was Hell's Garden.
I mean, really....what door would YOU have chosen?
So, Bill decided that Hell's Garden might not be such a bad place to visit.
He always enjoyed gardening and yard work.
He obviously never learned the lesson in life that if it LOOKS too good to be true....
The moment Bill opened the door he KNEW he had made a big mistake. (one of many, many, many, many bad mistakes and decisions this man has been known to make)
Everything that surrounded him was either black or a very ugly greenish color. The door suddenly vanished.
There was no way out of there.
Bill also noticed that there was a terrible stench, like rotting plants....and it was hot and steamy in that room. There were felled trees and clumps of decaying bushes and leaves with bugs crawling everywhere. And even the bugs weren't normal...they where huge.
Of course they were huge, it was Hell's Garden....they had a never-ending supply of rotting plants in which to feed upon.
The rotting foliage was as thick and tall as the eye could see, and there was the ceiling of stars against a black sky.
Bill also noticed a stagnant creek full of gnats and other annoying pests with wings.
Most creeks are babbling and free-flowing, but not this one, it was very still and smelled horrible. The waters were black with a green slime that floated on top.
There were dead and bloated fish and frogs everywhere. And the only sounds he heard were not 'normal' forest sounds.
There were no happy birds singing, wings flapping, and the scampering of ground squirrels. Instead, Bill heard moans and growls and a barely audible giggle beneath some rotting mushrooms and thorn bushes.
Bill approached the mushrooms. And as he drew closer, he saw movement. He was startled, but not enough to run away.
In a flash he saw a creature he had never seen before...it appeared to be a garden fairy....Hell's Garden Fairy.
She immediately flew up from under the thornbushes and hovered in the air.
She was hideous, but in an interesting way.
Bill felt oddly attracted to her.
He had never seen anything like her before. She was singing a wordless song and grinning at him. Her yellow eyes were very intense and it was as though she were looking right through him.
Which is actually no real stretch to imagine....he's as transparent as they come.
She was about 33 inches tall, from near the bottom of her jagged-edge black chiffon and silk-illusion netting skirt, all the way to the tip of her black gossamer-like fairy wings.
And as she moved, her diaphanous skirt flowed out from her and he could see that her legs were covered in black spider-web-like stockings.
Bill watched her as she hovered over the nasty creek and filled a small blue ceramic urn with the black water.
He moved closer to her, fascinated with her unique appearance. Her hair was stark white and there were long small braids here and there, as well as thin black satin ribbons.
The top of her hair had a gathering of black silk-illusion netting with black flowers positioned at the front of her head.
Her dress was beautiful, like black petals of a flower. The bodice was made of heavily embroidered lace. She was also wearing black garment leather around her bodice and it was laced-up with black cording.
No doubt Bill was mentally undressing her and thinking of getting a little 'fairy-freak' going on.
As she moved around the edges of the blackened creek, Bill could see the black chain that held her 'inverted cross' pendant. He thought it was beautiful, in it's own way.
Her delicate fingers completed the task of filling her blue ceramic urn with the black waters of the creek. Bill approached her and asked for her name.
She replied that it was Thorn HellGlitter.
She went on to explain that she had been one of the lost souls in Noah's flood...and when she appeared in Hell she found herself in Hell's Garden as a fairy.
Obviously, she had been given a different set of door choices, as AO-HELL, the DMV, and MTV didn't exist yet.
That's the moment Bill became the most confused.
What was his purpose in Hell? If Thorn HellGlitter had been one of the lost souls who perished during Noah's Flood and she's now a fairy in Hell's Garden, what would become of HIM?
Where was everyone?
Why were there no other people in Hell's Garden?
Thorn HellGlitter knew exactly what Bill was thinking. She gave him a long look and grimaced.
At that moment she glanced upwards at the star-filled ceiling.
A full moon was rising. And with the first beam of light that was cast down, it fell onto Bill.
It was then that Bill began to 'melt' and 'puddle' himself....and as his watery-form trickled off from a rotted tree, he spilled into the black creek.
And right on cue, Thorn HellGlitter took the cork stopper from her blue ceramic urn, held it down to the black waters, and 'Bill' flowed into it quite helplessly.
The blue urn began to change shape and Bill's face came through the ceramic and hardened. Suddenly, two horns jutted out from the sides of his ceramic head and Bill found himself bound with black cording and hanging from Thorn HellGlitter's black leather bodice.
You landed in Hell's special place for Bad Boyfriends And Husbands Of Times Past.
It was merely fairy-magic that changed the name of the door. Otherwise, you'd have never known where you belonged.
Ha ha ha, Bill, there IS no Hell's Garden!
Copyright © December 4, 2003 Cathy Palmer-Scruggs / Catt Alexander
Another super special thanks to eBay seller imosh for the 'inverted cross' pendant and it's black chain.
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My dolls are not for everyone, they are my art. If you are offended, I suggest you hit the back button. It will not do you any good to write me 'hate mail'.
In spite of the dolls I create and the stories I write, I do not use recreational drugs, I don't smoke cigarettes, and I don't even drink alcoholic beverages.